The problem with most cancers is that they quietly spread, undetected, as they invade their host. That is what makes cancer so scary. The thought of this creepy, uninvited intruder making it's way through your body is the ultimate violation. One minute you are feeling fine, then the next minute, you find that it has been hard at work - for weeks, months, or even years - without you even knowing.
I grew up in the once small town of Poway, CA - a northeast suburb of San Diego. I've moved away over 30 years ago, so I can't speak for the present. When I was growing up, there were two pests that we had to always keep an eye out for - Pacific Diamondback Rattlesnakes and Black Widow Spiders. They seemed to always be lurking around, undetected, until you kicked over a rock, or turned over a log.
They were both dangerous. The bite of a rattlesnake could do serious damage, and if left untreated, could kill a man. But, to me, the bite of the Black Widow was the one that I feared the most. Only about the size of a quarter, this little spider was known to put a kid down for two weeks with horrible flu-like symptoms.
One summer morning, my brother Jim an I were tasked with the chore of cleaning out the woodshed on the side of our house. It was just a four foot by eight foot lean-to were we kept a supply of firewood for those rare occasions when we would have a fire in the fireplace. As we crawled inside this box, I started thinking to myself, "I know there are Black Widows in here." I was on high alert, knowing that at any moment, I would pick up a piece of scrap wood to find one crawling on my hand.
The more I thought about it, the faster I worked, throwing everything out into the sunlight that wasn't nailed down. In no time, we had the contents of the shed cleared out. With a huge sigh of relief, I crawled out of the box. Trying to calm down, catch my breath, and gain my composer, I turned my back to Jim. Jim said with a stern, almost fearful voice, "Joe, you have a Black Widow on your back!"
My greatest fear became reality. I began to scream like a school girl, "Get it off, get it off!" I dropped to ground rolling on my back, hoping to smash it before it had a chance to bite me. After flailing around for what seems an eternity, I looked up to find Jim standing over me with a shocked and bewildered look on his face. He instantly busted up laughing, saying, "Man, I was just kidding."
I'm glad there are no Black Widows in Wisconsin.
In a way, I suppose that I am luckier than most. Since my cancer is attacking nerves, there have been very clear, very defined symptoms throughout the whole process. Well, at least it can be seen in hindsight. I could feel it creeping around, I just didn't know what it was.
As it made it's way, following the path of my nerves, different areas of the left side of my head would begin to experience sensory and motor issues. My left lower eyelid and left upper lip started first, followed by a loss of feeling in my left upper teeth, gums, and palette. That is the Infraorbital nerve. I noticed that my chewing muscles (Muscles of Mastication) on the left side became week and stopped working. At the same time, my lower teeth, gums, and half my tongue started aching. That's the Mandibular nerve. Now, I am experiencing pain around my left eye, forehead and scalp. That's the Ophthalmic nerve.
Mine didn't sneak up on me and say, "gotcha", but it did still say, "gotcha".
I'm still on schedule to talk to Northwestern this coming Thursday at 2pm. I just spoke to Mayo Clinic who set up an appointment for Friday the 19th. Whoever can start treatment first is the one I go with.
Thank you all again for your thoughts and prayers.
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