A lesson in humility

This entire experience has been a personal journey into areas of my life that I have seldom, if ever, ventured into.  Up until a year ago, I have only donned a hospital gown once in my life.  Now, walking down the hallway with the rear flaps open doesn't even make me shiver.  Needles were one of the few things that I would have claimed to be deathly afraid of.  This being due to the multiple shots of ice cold penicillin (right in the back side) I received as a child, to fight off my chronic ear infections.  It's amazing what you can get used to when you don't have a choice.

One of the hardest things for me to do has always been to ask for help.  I am your average Joe that never asks for directions, usually works alone, and rarely ever asks for help.  Cancer has taught me that survival and recovery is a team sport.  You can't do it alone, and to me, that is a tough lesson to learn.

Having someone to listen when you need to talk is so important.  Again, talking about my problems is something that I would never do before.  It has been a lesson to me to be a better listener.  When people are hurting, they generally don't need someone to give advice or to fix their problem, they just need to be heard.  I am fortunate to have a few people that will let me say, "My head is killing me today."  And, more importantly, to understand that I'm not asking them to do anything.  No response is required.

I'm still waiting for an answer from either Mayo in Rochester MN, or Northwestern in Warrenville, IL.  I have a virtual appointment with Northwestern on Thursday, so that puts them in the lead for my treatment.  I think that I have mentioned before that housing is going to be a problem at either facility, due to Covid-19.  Proton treatment will be every day, Monday thru Friday, for seven weeks.  Insurance will not pay for housing.  Under normal circumstances, the American Cancer Society has facilities for housing patients in long term care, but due to the pandemic, they are all closed.

I may be forced to ask for help in making this possible.  If it's Northwestern, I may have to ask some old friends if I can crash on their couch - and I realize that would be a huge ask - something that I would have never considered before.  I'm looking for options of hotels or extended stays that are open.  I'm sure that either facility can help me find something, somewhere, for me to stay.  I can't be the only one needing treatment right now.

Of all of the humbling lessons I have learned recently, asking for money is the toughest for me.  My daughter Jessica has set up a GoFundMe page to help cover my medical expenses.  I've learned to ask for help.  I've learned to ask for advice.  I've even learned to ask someone to listen to my complaints.  But, asking for money is something that I really struggle with.  I'm thankful that Jess took it upon herself to do this for me, and thankful for everyone that may donate. Please don't feel any pressure to donate, but if you are on social media, please share it.  I don't know how, but I will do my best to pay everyone back for their generosity.

I truly believe that the Lord has a plan and a purpose for this.  I can't imagine what it might be.